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This is me on 1/5/00 at 370 pounds & gaining.


And this is me now. :) (180)

I have never been like everyone else. For a lot of kids being fat is something they never have to think about. Something they never have to worry about, and lucky them. But for me, that was VERY different. I thought about it every day of my life, what I ate and didn't eat since I was 10 years old. I started gaining weight rapidly. I ate less then everyone around me but I was the one gaining weight on a daily basis and getting bigger. I had people telling me to eat less and exercise more. Eat less when I was eating less then all the other kids already?

I'm surprised I didn't end up with a eating disorder too. As the years went by the weight went up and up. When I graduated from school I was already 270 and a year later when I married my hubby I was up to 310. Can you imagine being that big? Try picking up a 50 pound bag of dog food and walk around for a hour. See how tired you get from just 50 more pounds. Of course with my weight going up so quick, my health went downhill. I was going to the Dr every week for things. I couldn't paint my toes nails much less even see my toes. I would get out of breath walking from the car which was parked in the closing parking spot to the Store entrance. My ankles were so swollen they looked like balloons. My Dr finally discovered that I had low thyroid. Started me on meds which helped me not gain weight so fast but about nothing else....

After my hubby graduated we moved to San Diego for his job. Imagine being 350 pounds now and living in a city where everyone is obsessed with looks. I'd go out in public and hear comments n snickers n laughing. After a while I couldn't take it and would only leave my home when absolutely needed. I was a prisoner in my own home. Now I just moved to CA so of course I was extremely homesick as ALL of my family lived in AZ and they were my support. My hubby was busy with his new job n well not very interested in me anymore, n who can blame him? I had such bad sleep apnea that I would stop breathing 113 times in 1 hour. I was dying and I was invisible to everyone. This is were the thought of killing myself came in. I could no longer handle being so big that I was not really living at all. Well, one day I was online and just happened upon a website that saved my life in every way possible. WLS. Weight Loss Surgery. And NO, It's not a "EASY WAY OUT". It was either WLS or die a slow death. What would you choose? I choose WLS. I choose life. I'd either die on the table or come out in a better situation. Not much really to lose. I went into surgery weighing 371 or more.

Well It worked. One and half years later and ALOT of exercise, I was 205 pounds lighter. I weighed 165 and I was happy and healthy and most important I was living life again. All my medical problems were gone. WLS saved me. Saved my life and made my kids possible! Yup, 2 years later I had my first child and 4 years later my second. I gained some baby weight and I was at 218 before starting my exercise and diet routine. WLS was just a tool for me and that's all. It gave me the chance to have a normal life. It doesn't mean that I won't gain weight back, I know, because well I did. I gained a total of 50 pounds between my two kids. But my kids are worth it and so I am. So here I am again WORKING to get weight off. Weight loss is not easy for me. It never will be. I was always have to work harder then everyone else around me with normal thyroids. But I'm ok with that. If I didn't go through everything that I have gone though then I wouldn't be me and I wouldn't have my kids who are my life. They are a big part of why I am trying to lose weight again, So I can around longer for them.

My Current stats & Goals -
SW - 218.9
CW - 193.4
GW1 - 199
 GW2 - 189
 GW3 - 179
 GW4 - 165
GW5 - 150

I feel 160/150 is a good weight for me, even with me being 5'3 since I have large heavy bones from being so overweight at a young age. I was 165 before getting preggo n a size 12. I felt VERY comfortable at that weight. I'm doing pretty well with my eating and exercise, now it's just time for the hard part - sticking to it!

If you have any comments or questions about my story, feel free to contact me. :)

jamie@jamies-designs.com
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Saturday, June 24, 2006

Oooo. Ahhhh. Ohhhhh

I got out of my house today!! Yay!! Chrissy, Sandi, and I went and hit some scrapping stores. Chrissy has gotten me interested in paper scrapping again so I went to buy some new goodies. She is showing me lots of new stuffs and ways to save money so thats good. And I think i'm gonna really enjoy paper scrappin again. Gah Chrissy n Sandi gots to leave to go home soon, booo! I'm gonna really miss them. :(

I think I may be starting school once I'm healed. I plan at least at the moment to go to school for Medical Transcription. I will be able to work at home and set my own hours once I finish the course. I'd be going to school at home thru a online school at http://www.careerstep.com They are highly recomended and will help be get a job after I finish. I figure this would be good for me to have under my belt just in case something happens in the future where I need to work and all that stuff.Welps, Meds are kickin in n making i hard to focus on he screen, gonna go sleep now.

Nini

posted by Jamie at 11:35 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I had a check up today with Dr. Hollan and Sally her nurse. Well, Mostly Sally actually which is fine because Sally rocks. lol :) They said my incision (which goes all the way around my waist is looking very good and they couldnt believe how fast I'm healing. I tried to tell them I heal fast but yeah. I had 3 drains but today they took 2 out and also took ALOT of stitches out as well. Owie but I can actully move a bit easier now. I have another appt on Friday to take out the stitches on my backside and to check the last drain and prolly take it out too. I am now also allowed to shower without my garment, yay! This thing is itchy and hot and giving me a heat rash. They also told me I could buy a differant garment that should be more comfy and less hot, hopefully i'll feel up to going with Chrissy to get it today, we'll see. Welps, Im sleepy so i'm gonna go nap, I've been up all day n it has worn me out thats for sure. Maybe I'll go get the garment tomo morn instead. lol Laterz!

posted by Jamie at 2:25 PM 0 comments

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Trinity's Owie. :( I came home from the hospital n saw my baby's chin like this. It freaked me out so I made my hubby take her to Urgent Care to make sure she was really ok and didnt have a cracked chin. She is fine but it really freaked me out and made me feel bad that I was not there for her. :( booo! Bad Mommy.

posted by Jamie at 7:04 PM 1 comments

Friday, June 16, 2006

Surgery is no fun! blah!!!!

Had my surgery on Monday Morning at around 8 am. I was real scared n had butterflies. i hate going under but yeah eveything turned out fine, Here I am being waited on hand and foot by Chrissy and Hubby and all I want to do is to be able to get up and do some kickboxing. lol Today I have my 5 day check up. I need to ask them for copies of my before pics so i can compare. I hope I get at least one of these drains out today too. I have about 6 quick pages I need to put up on http://www.scrap-me-silly.com along with my new kit I finished before my surgery.

The trip to Disneyland for Trinity's birthday was GREAT. I wanna go back n stay there. lol To quote Trinity from the bus ride to disney " Back to Disneyland I go! " LOL The kids had a blast and I loved having that time with them. I'm also glad that I got that time with Chrissy and Sandi. I'm going to miss them soooooooooo much when they leave. I really wish they could stay longer, but thats life huh. I better get going. Time to empty my drains.


posted by Jamie at 8:08 AM 0 comments